"Once a toaster can ask "why?" Its not going to want to toast your bread."

This is the first letter I have received in a few months, and though it does not entirely answer the prompt, I must post it and let the world see it and think what they may.


May 1/ 2009

Dear Patrick,

So last night I couldn't sleep. So instead I accidentally came to a whole lot of revelations. Some were about, like, uh, I don't know The future and shit. And who I really am as a person. But I got bored and watched tv instead. There was this commercial for a blanket. It was a blanket, are you ready? With a brain! Cue the dramatic music. Why is it that people think you can add "with a brain" to anything and it makes it cooler. Because it doesn't. It just makes me a little paranoid. Like maybe the blankets with think of ways to communicate. And of course they'll be pissed. You can't just stick a brain in something and expect it to be all cool about it. Once a toaster can ask "why?" Its not going to want to toast your bread. Its going to want to like, I dunno, mope and shit. Maybe a little world domination here and there. If its and evil toaster. Or travel great distances with a vacuum, a radio, a lamp, and a blanket. A blanket with a brain.

Hmmm. I guess that wasn't really a letter so much as a rambling about a tv commercial I saw. This is why I shouldn't drink energy drinks. During my second rockstar I didn't even drink it out of the can. I just poured it all over myself. When it seeps in it gives you a high like being on meth. This it proven.

I should go. Otherwise I'll start babbling about my dogs foot fetish.

I hope this letter finds you well.

Sincerely
(and with a big hug)

--------------------

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as a footnote: I wish the revelations this person came to were said, but all I can post to you is what's written. I can say that this is a cautionary letter on a few levels.