it may seem like posting is a bit sporadic
and it should be done more often, because there are some letters that have yet to be posted (but are quite long and usually only my regular correspondence people). but with that said i have not received any mail for at least two weeks. this saddens me, and i am calling out to all readers, if you exist, to please contribute for the sake of one man needing to hear a tale of survival now, and for the other people who may read this blog and do read the other myspace blog.

i do not want to sound like a desperate life leach, but i would like for this project to stay a float.

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Dear Patrick,

What gets me through the night and brings me to the day....

Is the ability to have memory
I want to remeber those times on
the concrete basement floor building
castles out of green and yellow wood blocks

I need to remeber how we bought that
coffee table, painted it green and
purchased an ashtray to match- even
though we were to young to smoke.

I want to remember the time you
left and ther i stood without a plan or
virture.

Remember that time when we wanted
the silver pillows float overhead and
you took me to the Rock N Roll Hall of
fame- yet another memory that I
wake up to every morning.

I get through the day remebering
that one concert, that one day, that
one cup of tea, that one dinner party,
that one tape and those two record
players

I wake up so I can miss you and
everyone I am to meet. I want to
forgive and learn and hurt and be
amazed at the human race.

I get through the day by remembering
those times in the park and the circle
drive that runs by my house and
trailing a handmade kite out the
back car window.

I remember living in seven different
houses in one city and loving the
yellow, blue, green, and white
painting hanging in the hall way.

I wake up, put on a sweater and
scarf and walk out my door because
when my house burns down- fuck the
furniture, fuck all the clothing
and end tables, fuck the hand
painted china because all I need is
my camera- I can't keep getting
through the day without remembering
and I need to create memories to
remember... how to get the next
day.

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also in this envelope was an awesome pin
it is now on my blue shop coat